It’s just a cookie… so why does it feel so loud? “Forbidden foods.” It’s a term that comes up all the time in my 1:1 sessions. At first, many of my clients say they don’t have any. They tell me, “I let myself eat what I want.” But as we keep talking, the hidden rules start to show.
Maybe they feel uneasy when someone else cooks because they don’t know what ingredients were used. Or they stand in front of the fridge for too long, stuck between what they want and what they think they should eat.
Sometimes it’s a quiet deal with themselves: “If I skip the carbs at dinner, I can have chocolate later.” These are all signs that forbidden foods are still in play. Even when you’re not following a diet, old food rules can sneak in and stir up guilt, shame, or confusion.
If you’re new here, hello. I’m Dr. Meredith Mackenzie, a binge-eating therapist and intuitive eating coach. If you’re working to make peace with forbidden foods but still feel stuck in cycles of guilt, fear, or all-or-nothing thinking, my group program One Body To Love offers support, practical tools, and a judgment-free space to rebuild trust with food and your body. For more insights and encouragement, come connect with me on Instagram.
The Hidden Rules That Turn Foods Into Forbidden Foods
No one is born afraid of a cookie. But over time, many of us learn to fear or judge certain foods. These often become what we call ‘fear foods’ or ‘forbidden foods’.
It might come from a diet plan, a wellness trend, or things we hear from friends or family. Slowly, we pick up rules like:
- Carbs are bad
- Sugar is addictive
- Eating after 7 PM causes weight gain
- “Clean” food is better
These rules can get stuck in our minds. The foods tied to these beliefs get labeled as “bad.” Even if we don’t completely avoid them, we might feel guilty or out of control when we eat them. This is how fear foods and forbidden foods are created.
Ever wonder where your food rules really come from? This video explores the deeper beliefs we’ve inherited about food, control, and our bodies.
What Happens in Your Brain When You Label a Food “Bad”
Your brain is wired to protect you. So when you label a food as bad or forbidden, even subconsciously, your nervous system responds. That cookie or bag of chips may not be dangerous, but your body reacts as if it is. You might feel anxious, distracted, or tense around it, even before taking a bite.
This isn’t about lack of control or willpower. It’s a survival response. When your brain senses that a food is off-limits, it becomes fixated on it. That food becomes more desirable, not less. The urge builds, and when you finally eat it, it can feel chaotic or disconnected. You might eat quickly, in secret, or feel shame afterward. Not because the food was wrong, but because it was wrapped in fear and pressure.
This cycle is not your fault. It is a normal reaction to restriction, whether physical or mental. The more we fear or restrict certain foods, the more power they hold over us. The good news is that your brain can relearn. With practice, support, and compassion, those same foods can become neutral again. Just food.
Feel like you keep letting yourself down with food? This blog explores why breaking food promises isn’t a failure and what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Making Peace With Forbidden Foods Doesn’t Always Feel Safe at First
Even when you’re doing the inner work and letting go of food rules, certain foods can still feel intense. It’s common to feel anxious, uncertain, or even disconnected when facing foods you’ve feared or avoided for a long time.
You might expect peace to feel calm and easy. But at first, it can feel messy and uncomfortable. Sitting with a forbidden food without falling into old habits or panic takes practice and self-trust. You may feel pulled between the desire for freedom and the leftover pressure from diet culture. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re right in the middle of the work.
Healing often begins in those uncomfortable in-between moments. Peace does not always come with comfort right away. It comes from staying with yourself, even when things feel hard. Each time you pause, notice what you need, and choose to respond with care, you are making space for something new. Trust grows from these small moments. And over time, that food loses its grip on you.
Still feeling stuck around food, even when you’re trying to do things differently? This blog breaks down the toxic diet culture lies that might be holding you back.
Gentle Ways to Reintroduce or Neutralize “Scary” Foods
Here are a few steps you can take:
- Name the fear
Make a list of foods that feel forbidden. Be honest with yourself. What’s the fear behind each one? - Pick one food to work with
Choose one that feels manageable. It doesn’t have to be the hardest one right now. - Set the scene
Plan to eat the food when you feel calm and safe. Try not to do this when you’re overly hungry, stressed, or distracted. - Eat with awareness
Put the food on a plate. Sit down. Take your time. Notice how it tastes and what thoughts come up without judging them. - Repeat the experience
Keep practicing. The more your brain sees this food as safe, the less power it holds. Over time, it becomes just food.
For many of my clients, we use approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or exposure-based techniques to support this process. That might look like planning a visit to a local chocolate shop to slowly enjoy two or three truffles in a calm, supportive setting, especially if eating chocolate at home tends to lead to guilt, urgency, or a feeling of being out of control. Working through fear foods in a structured, judgment-free way can help the brain and body relearn that these foods are not dangerous.
This process isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about building trust with yourself, one bite at a time. You’re showing your body that food is allowed, and that you are safe to enjoy it without fear or guilt.
Not sure what a healthy relationship with food actually looks like? This video breaks it down in a clear, real-world way, no perfection required.
What Food Peace Feels Like Over Time
Food peace doesn’t mean you love every food. It means food stops feeling loud.
You don’t panic around chips or cookies. You might still enjoy them, but without the noise. There’s no pressure to finish them all. No guilt for wanting more. No shame if you decide to stop halfway through. You begin to trust your body’s cues. Some days you eat the cookie. Other days you don’t feel like it. Neither choice feels like a win or a failure; it’s just food.
As you begin to reject diet mentality, the mental noise starts to fade. Meals no longer replay in your head hours after eating. The bargaining about what you’re allowed to eat tomorrow starts to quieten. Over time, instead of scanning a nutrition label for permission, you begin checking in with your own hunger and needs. You choose foods that feel good and taste good. Food takes up less space in your mind, and more space opens up in your day. That’s peace. Not perfection. Not control. Just space to live your life.
Want to know if you’re actually making progress with food? This blog shares 5 surprising signs of food peace that have nothing to do with what you eat.
Your Worth Was Never Tied to What You Eat
You don’t need to eat perfectly to be respected or loved. Dessert doesn’t have to be earned, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for eating pasta or choosing not to. What matters is that your choices feel satisfying, grounded, and kind. Rest is allowed. Pleasure is allowed. Letting go of guilt is allowed, even if it takes practice.
Making peace with forbidden foods doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to unlearn old rules, quiet the fear, and rebuild trust with your body. Still, every step toward less guilt, fewer food rules, and more self-kindness matters.
If you’re ready to explore that next step, Food Freedom in a Weekend is a self-paced course with simple, powerful tools to help you feel more grounded, less reactive, and more at ease around food, even the ones that feel loud.
For deeper, personalized support, one-on-one coaching offers a space to gently explore your patterns and create lasting change from the inside out. Not sure where to start? My podcast and YouTube channel are full of real-world tools, or you can book a free call, and we’ll figure out what’s right for you.
