The idea of holiday meals without shame might feel almost too good to be true, especially if you carry the weight of years of dieting, food rules, and big meals that left you feeling out of control. You don’t need to have it all figured out to be welcome here. You’re allowed to bring your whole self, wounds and all, to this holiday table.
I’m so glad you found your way here. I’m Dr. Meredith MacKenzie, a binge eating therapist and intuitive eating coach. If holiday meals bring up stress, guilt, or old patterns, you’re not alone. There’s a kinder way to approach food, especially during this time of year. For daily support and real talk, come join me on Instagram. And if you’re ready for more personalized support, you can book a free discovery call to explore what healing could look like for you.
Why Holiday Meals Feel So Hard (And You’re Not Alone)
When the holidays roll around, there’s warmth, cooking smells, family, and tradition. But for someone recovering from binge eating, it can also bring pressure, chaos, old habits, and fear. Holiday meals without shame can feel out of reach when you’re navigating anxiety, hunger, and the urge to keep it together.
The big meal itself can bring up a lot. You might arrive feeling anxious, disconnected from your body, or worried about being judged. You may feel the need to be good or stay in control just to avoid shame.
If you skipped meals earlier in the day, your body may already feel deprived, which can lead to feeling out of control once the food is in front of you. And after years of diet culture, food often carries guilt. That mix of stress, hunger, and internal pressure makes it hard to experience holiday meals without shame or struggle.
What Shame Around Holiday Eating Really Comes From
Shame doesn’t come from eating a big meal. It comes from the meaning we attach to that meal. When you’ve spent years with food rules, it’s easy to think things like: “I shouldn’t have eaten that,” “I lost control,” or “I blew it.” Shame shows up when what you eat feels like a reflection of your worth.
But food is not a moral issue. It’s not “good” or “bad.” It’s just food. And your body knows how to eat when it’s trusted. Shame is often a sign that you were caught in a pattern: trying to control, restricting, then reacting. And that doesn’t mean you failed. It means your body was trying to protect you.
You’re allowed to feel torn. You might want to enjoy the meal, but still feel pulled by old beliefs. That’s okay. You can hold space for both. That inner conflict isn’t a failure; it’s part of the healing.
Struggle with nighttime binge eating? Grab my free guide, 5 Steps to End Night Binge Eating, and start building an evening routine that actually supports you.
Give Yourself Full Permission to Eat (Yes, Really)
Holiday meals without shame begin with giving yourself full permission to eat. This means letting go of guilt and allowing yourself to enjoy the foods you truly want, not because you’re giving up, but because control and restriction haven’t brought peace. Permission helps your body feel safe, which can ease the urgency around food and support true binge recovery. You can end bingeing without relying on restriction.
Before the meal, check in with yourself. What sounds good? What feels satisfying? Listening without judgment allows your body to guide you more calmly. It’s normal to feel scared, especially if you’ve binged in the past. But more rules rarely help. Permission isn’t about ignoring fullness. It’s about building trust by choosing from care, not fear.
Still wondering why full permission feels so hard? Watch this video to learn about the emotional cost of chasing weight loss and constant restriction.
Grounding Tools for Before, During & After the Meal
You don’t need a big toolbox. Just a few gentle practices can help you feel more grounded. Use what works and leave the rest.
Before The Meal
- Check in with your hunger. If you’re overly hungry, a small snack might help you feel more balanced.
- Take a few slow breaths. Say something kind to yourself. “I’m allowed to eat. I can listen to my body.”
- Remind yourself this meal is not a test. It’s just food. You can return to your body again and again.
During The Meal
- Notice your surroundings. Focus on a face, a voice, a piece of conversation. This brings you back to the moment.
- Pause halfway through. Ask yourself, “Am I enjoying this? Do I want more? Do I feel done?” No pressure to change, just observe.
- If guilt shows up, acknowledge it without judgment. Then come back to what you’re sensing in your body.
After The Meal
- Give yourself a moment of stillness. No need to jump into cleanup or distractions.
- Notice how your body feels. Are you full? Satisfied? Overfull? Be curious, not critical.
- Offer yourself a kind phrase like, “I took care of myself today. That matters more than being perfect.”
These grounding practices help you stay connected to your body and your values, creating more ease during holiday meals without shame.
Want a simple tool to ground yourself in the moment? Watch this video to learn the One-Two-Eat Method and how it supports calm, connected eating.
Dealing with Diet Talk, Body Comments, and Food Policing
Sometimes the hardest part of holiday meals without shame isn’t the food. It’s the people. Comments about your body, your plate, or how much you’re eating can feel triggering, especially when they come from loved ones who may not understand your journey.
If you tend to people-please, it can feel even harder to say no or set limits. You might worry about seeming rude or letting someone down. But choosing what supports you is not selfish. It’s a way to care for yourself. You don’t have to explain or join in. Gentle boundaries might look like changing the subject, stepping away, or choosing not to respond. Even small shifts in how you engage can help you feel more grounded.
If speaking up feels too hard, that’s okay. Protecting your peace is not about being confrontational. It’s about doing what helps you feel safe. You are allowed to prioritize your well-being and choose what supports your recovery. Every time you do, you build more trust in yourself.
Tired of diet talk taking over your holidays? Read my blog on how to say no to holiday diet talk with confidence and care.
What to Do If You Do Binge (Or Feel Like You Might)
Even with care and intention, a binge might still happen, or you might feel like you’re on the edge of one. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your body is asking for something. You can respond with compassion.
Here’s what you can try:
- Pause and breathe. Even a few slow breaths can help your nervous system settle. Let your body know you’re present and safe.
- Check in gently. Ask yourself: Am I physically hungry? Am I overwhelmed? Am I feeling numb or flooded with emotion?
- Name what’s happening. You don’t have to fix it right away. Sometimes, simply acknowledging what you’re feeling is enough to soften the moment.
- Offer yourself comfort. Step outside, stretch, rest, or call someone you trust. Ask yourself what kind of support you need right now.
- Speak to yourself with kindness. A phrase like, “This was hard, and I’m still worthy of care.” can go a long way.
- Return to regular eating without punishment. You don’t need to restrict your next meal. Eating again with intention and kindness helps rebuild trust.
One binge does not undo your progress. Each time you choose compassion over criticism, you take a step toward holiday meals without shame.
Had a binge and unsure what to do next? This step-by-step guide will help you respond with care and take grounded steps toward healing.
Embracing Holiday Meals Without Shame
Holiday meals can feel hard when you’re healing your relationship with food. But you don’t need to fix or change yourself to belong. Choosing holiday meals without shame means trusting your body and treating yourself with care. One kind choice at a time, you’re building something new.
If holiday meals feel overwhelming or bring up old patterns, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Food Freedom in a Weekend is a simple, self-paced starting point to help you move out of all-or-nothing thinking and feel more grounded around food.
For deeper support, One Body To Love, my group coaching program, offers a compassionate space to understand what’s driving your eating and build trust with your body, especially during high-stress times like the holidays. If you’re looking for more personalized care, my 1:1 coaching provides a safe, tailored space to explore your patterns and reconnect with your needs at your own pace.
You can also tune into my podcast or YouTube channel for real talk, relatable stories, and tools you can use right away. There’s no perfect starting point, just the next right step that feels kind to you.
